Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Okay, this may be moaning or screaming.. Why me .. What did I do to my kids that they think ignoring me for Christmas is okay.. Tim couldn't even say Merry Christmas mom and dad.. Jason and his wife played this game of calling at 7:30 am. Oh, we are baking cinnamon buns will call you when we are leaving home. By 11 am we gave up on the cinnamon buns. Got a call maybe around noon .. Oh, we will be over at 2 pm. 2 pm comes and goes.. 4 pm I call over to the in laws and say tell them not to come there is a severe thunderstorm coming.. Stay put.. 7 pm Jason and wife show up with this platter of cookies and 6 cinnamon buns.. Oh, by the way we need the platters back.. Okay, I put the stuff on a dish of mine.. She proceeds to wash and dry the dishes and says.. "Oh, honey will you dry these... Oh, yes dear." The two gifts we open next ... are recycled for sure.. 6 chocolate truffles and bbq sauces.. Which I'm sure came in some package to them and they needed a gift..
I am so upset.. I've got to let it go.. It is not what Jason or Tim saw in this house. There were always gifts for all.. Gifts for children on the churches giving tree.. Donations to salvation army, food for poor, community harvest and on and on.. They never learned the art of giving.. How did I fail this lesson.. They saw me send packages off to grandmothers and aunts.. They saw packages come to the house.. With the chocolates that smelled like my aunt. The trucks , the cars, the underwear, the pj's and tee shirts.. The dolls and I thought the love. I must have failed the lesson of giving and the spirit of the season to them.
My daughter some how got it.. Over the years there have been surprises and wonderful things.. Creams and soaps and pictures of kids, and phone calls that are so special. I'll always remember the white tulips from Martha Stewart in the middle of the winter for my birthday. What a wonderful surprise of generousity and wonder and love.
The boys just missed it.. They saw the stuff we had send my mother in law.. She gave it all back to us on her passing.. She was special too..
Okay, so I've got it off my back..
I'm going out of town for next Christmas... Planning a trip already..
Also planning 07 quilts .. Three in cutting stage. For me that is always the hard part.. The committing to a color range and direction.
See you all in 07..
chloe is limping along with her injured Knees, too funny little thing.. She has to stop jumping off of the bed, the sofa, the chairs..
# posted by sharon b @ 6:57 AM 
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Hi Sharon, just popping in on this wet, dreary afternoon to see how you are doing..*VBS* Apparently not so well. So sorry to hear that you allowed them to ruin your Christmas. Part of it is that I think we head into the holiday with expections. I have three sons, all married with children(or have been married). Don't look for it to get better. I have found the only person I CAN change is me. I've been miserable far too many years. I decided to change that. I'm not letting anyone steal my happiness. Plan ahead for next time. Be happy if they join you, and be happy if they don't. It's their choice, and the only way you can control that is the guilt trip. It just drives them further away is what I have found.
I, like you, have one very lovely daughter I've created my happy place to include her and if the others wander in, I'm glad to see them, but I no longer expect anything. It's just setting yourself up for more disappointment. To the "call you when we leave", a "whatever" or a "that's not necessary, we'll see you when we see you" will work quite well. It whacks the expectation out of it, and you aren't as vulnerable to the disappointment. If they seem to prefer the in-laws, let them. They'll get to where they want to know how you can have a good time without them.
And don't talk about the "christmases past" unless it's funny stories when you are all together. Laying the guilt on them about that wasn't how they were raised won't do a single good thing...trust me on that one.
You deserve much better, as do I. And we both know that..*VBS* So lets have a big hug and an "you're not alone in this" and get the party started!!
Your quilt plans sound great! I'm curious to know what the color plan will be..*G* P.S. Cutting is the hardest part for me too! Big hugs, Finn
I, like you, have one very lovely daughter I've created my happy place to include her and if the others wander in, I'm glad to see them, but I no longer expect anything. It's just setting yourself up for more disappointment. To the "call you when we leave", a "whatever" or a "that's not necessary, we'll see you when we see you" will work quite well. It whacks the expectation out of it, and you aren't as vulnerable to the disappointment. If they seem to prefer the in-laws, let them. They'll get to where they want to know how you can have a good time without them.
And don't talk about the "christmases past" unless it's funny stories when you are all together. Laying the guilt on them about that wasn't how they were raised won't do a single good thing...trust me on that one.
You deserve much better, as do I. And we both know that..*VBS* So lets have a big hug and an "you're not alone in this" and get the party started!!
Your quilt plans sound great! I'm curious to know what the color plan will be..*G* P.S. Cutting is the hardest part for me too! Big hugs, Finn
Sorry to hear how the boys treated you, but you can always depend on that sweet daughter of yours. She is an absolute jewel of the highest quality.
I love your Alphabet Christmas quilt. And you are so lucky to be able to see the shuttles blast off. I pray that you have a very blessed and Happy New Year 2007.
Pat
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I love your Alphabet Christmas quilt. And you are so lucky to be able to see the shuttles blast off. I pray that you have a very blessed and Happy New Year 2007.
Pat
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